


so hold me close (and I’ll surrender to your heart)

by DeathLife97



Series: don’t let go (it’s what makes you real) [4]
Category: Marvel 3490, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, F/M, Female Tony Stark, Not Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Compliant, Not Thor: The Dark World Compliant, On Hiatus, Secret Identity, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Still Has Arc Reactor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-03-26 05:46:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3839323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathLife97/pseuds/DeathLife97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An MCU/Earth-3490 mash-up from the mind of Natasha Antonia Stark (better known as Toni). Toni Stark isn’t your typical woman. She’s a billionaire, genius, philanthropist, and heir to the Stark fortune. She’s also Iron Man, one of the world’s greatest super heroes. But, it's not like anyone knows that. Throw in her bossy personal assistant/CEO/best friend, her overprotective bodyguard, a couple of genocidal lunatics, and a Capsicle that unknowingly steals her heart, well.... that’s just scraping the top of the life of Toni Stark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Avengers Assemble P1

**Author's Note:**

> So here's the first part for "so hold me close (and I’ll surrender to your heart)". Hopefully I'll have the second chapter up by the end of the month. As for "In The Beginning", that's going on a temporary hiatus. Until that one gets an update, enjoy!

One of the perks of the Iron Man suits is that I can breathe underwater, which is really helpful considering that I'm putting a mini-arc reactor on the pipeline leading towards Stark Tower. Being the only big name in green energy was awesome. Less guilt-ridden that selling weapons (not that I would _ever_ truly admit it). As soon as I connect the reactor to the pipe, it wraps around the pipe and lights up.

I fly out of the Atlantic and head back to Stark Tower. “You’re good on this end,” I say into the comm, “the rest is up to you.”

“You disconnected the transition lines? Are we off the grid?”

I roll my eyes at Pepper’s questions. Hello, genius here! Pepper’s face appears of the screen inside the helmet. “Stark Tower is about to become a beacon of self-sustaining clean energy,” I say in answer.

“Wow.” I roll my eyes again. Really, after all these years, she’s still surprised by my amazing skills? “So maybe our arc reactor takes over and it actually works?”

 _Oh, I_ know _it’ll work_. “I assume.” I around the corner of the building, Stark Tower dim and lifeless. “Light her up.”

A few seconds later, Stark Tower lit up like the giant Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center. It was a sight to see. _There, Dad,_ I think, _your “greatest creation” did you proud, eh?_ “How does it look?” Pepper asks, and I can hear a glimmer of awe in her voice.

“Like Christmas, but with more... me,” I say, my voice filled with false ego.

Pepper’s muffled laugh can be still be heard through the comm. “Gotta go wider on the public awareness campaign. You need to do some press. I can do some more tomorrow. I'm working on the zoning for the next billboards,” she says, babbling in her business-like way.

I sigh. “Pepper, you're killing me. Remember? Enjoy the moment.”

“Get in here and enjoy the moment with me, then,” Pepper ordered. I giggled, knowing Pepper would know I was thinking a dirty thought when I finally landed, activating a cloaking shield around the pad so I can take off my armor without revealing who actually wore the armor. Robot arms (Dummy’s children, who I had the great pleasure in naming the Dumlettes) appear from the ground, JARVIS guiding them as they grab onto different parts of the armor and peeling it away from my body.

“Ma’am, Agent Coulson is on the line,” JARVIS informed me, sounding tentative.

“Tell him I’m busy and call back later for tea time,” I say as I walk down the aisle.

“Ma’am, I’m afraid he’s insisting.”

“Grow a spine, JARVIS. I got more important business to attend to.” I finally cross the threshold, Pepper’s back to me as she stares at the monitor. I glance at it quickly to check that the numbers are good before walking over to the small table to grab some champagne. After filling up two glasses, I walked back over to Pepper, holding one out for her.

Pep took the glass, turning back to the monitors. “Levels are holding steady... I think.”

I can’t help it; I roll my eyes. “Of course they are, I was directly involved. Which brings me to my next question: how does it feel to be a genius?” I ask, taking a sip.

“Well, I really wouldn’t know, would I?” she responds, not looking away from the monitors.

“What do you mean? This,” gesturing to the Tower, “came from you.”

That got Pepper to turn around. “No, all _this_ came from _that_ ,” she said with emphasis, pointing to the reactor resting comfortably between my breasts.

“Give yourself some credit, please. Stark Tower is your baby. Give yourself... twelve percent of the credit,” I teased.

Pepper looked at me indignantly. “Twelve percent?”

“An argument could be made for fifteen,” I reply calmly, succeeding in hiding my smug smile.

“Twelve percent?” Pepper asks, walking away. “For my baby?”

I follow immediately. “Well, I did do all the heavy lifting. Literally, I lifted the heavy things,” I point out logically, “and sorry, but the security snafu? That was on you.” Pepper snorted as she sat down. “My private elevator―”

“You mean _our_ elevator?”

“―was teeming with sweaty workmen. I'm going to pay for that comment about percentages in some subtle way later, aren't I?” I ask, sitting down beside her on the floor.

Pepper took a sip of her champagne. “Not gonna be that subtle.”

I give her a look before taking a sip myself. “Y’know, how ‘bout this? The next building says POTTS on it.”

“On the lease,” Pepper negotiates.

I give her a sour look. “Call your mom and ask if you can sleepover this weekend.”

We laugh for a few moments before we’re interrupted. “Ma’am, the telephone. I'm afraid my protocols are being overwritten.”

“Toni, we need to talk,” Coulson’s voice says through the intercom. I tilt my head, curious. It takes me a second to realize that Coulson sounded strained beyond what he normally is. Like he’s about to snap.

I sigh in faux-resignation. “Come on up.” A moment later, the elevator doors open to reveal Coulson. He looked even worse than he sounded. “Security breach,” I joke, hoping to lighten the mood. Pepper elbows me in the stomach for my troubles, standing up before running over to Phil, hugging him. He accepts it too easily for my comfort, my concern rising. When they let go of each other, Phil looked only slightly better. I walk over and give him a hug too, understanding that he needs some sort of physical comfort. Phil takes it willingly, wrapping his arms around me, his SHIELD-issued computer bumping against my back. I don’t care, because someone needs my help, and his needs were above my comfort zone. We pull back a few minutes later, still keeping some physical contact. “So what’s up?”

“I need you to look at some files,” Phil says, fully letting me go. He holds out the computer towards me.

I give him a look. “You know I don’t like being handed things.”

“That's alright, `cause I love to be handed things. So, let's trade,” Pepper said, handing her glass to Phil and taking the computer from him before taking my glass and handing me the electronic.

I glare at her, no real heat behind it before looking at Phil. “Normally my consulting hours are between eight and five every other Thursday, but for you I’m willing to make an exception.”

“This is not a consultation. Not this time,” Phil stated. “This time it’s different.”

“Why, what happened?” I ask, disassembling the computer as I walked over to the monitors, reassembling the device as I set it down on the table.

“Clint’s been taken.” Those words stop whatever joke I was about to make in its tracks, my back stiffening. I can practically feel Pepper’s anger, but its not as intense as my own. “SHIELD has decided that it would be best to reinstate the Avengers Initiative.”

“I thought that was disbanded. Besides, I didn’t even make the cut,” I say, booting up the computer.

“I didn’t know that,” Pepper says casually, bless her.

“Yeah, apparently I’m ‘volatile, self- obsessed, don't play well with others’.”'

“That I did know.”

I stick my tongue out at Pepper as I transfer the files over to my databases. “Doesn’t matter anymore, does it? This must be one hell of a baddie to pull me into the fray. You know I don’t play well with Fury.”

“This isn't about personality profiles anymore,” Phil said.

I smirk. “Pep, can you come here?” I hear her tell Phil ‘half a mo’ before she’s standing next to me. “I thought we were having a moment back there,” I say. We hadn’t really had time to ourselves since Iron Man began, and I missed spending time with my best friend.

“I was having twelve percent of a moment.” I give her an exasperated look. “So what’s this?” she asks, pointing at the different things running across my screen.

“This is―” I stop. I throw my arms out, making the files expand across all the screens. Simultaneously, footage of Captain America, Hulk and Thor played, the noises blurring together. There was also a man in a green coat and a glowing blue cube. My heart practically stops when I recognize the Tesseract. “That,” I breathe out, shocked.

“I’m going to take the jet to D.C. tonight.”

“Tomorrow,” I negotiate.

“You’ve got homework. You’ve got a _lot_ of homework,” Pepper says.

I pout. “But what if I didn’t?”

I know I said the wrong thing when Pepper lightly punches my shoulder. “If you finish this,” she says in a hushed tone, “I’ll convince the board to expand the R&D department for medical research.”

I gasp. I notice Phil looking down in embarrassment. I smirk a little. _Gotta have my fun where I can_ , I think. “Square deal. But you better keep your end of the bargain.”

Pepper ignores me as she tells me to work hard, hugging me before walking over to Phil. I zone out as I study the files, grabbing the holographic Tesseract before sighing. This was going to be a long night.

As I finish up the last of my research, I got an alert about a possible sighting of Loki in Stuttgart. I was too tired to really fight a immortal lunatic, so I sent JARVIS off with the Mark VI to help out. He knew my attack patterns by heart (or by circuits, if you want to get technical about it), so I was confident that JARVIS could take care of it. I called Phil to come pick me up, taking the Quinjet up to the Helicarrier. It was a quiet ride, both of us somber until we landed. That’s when I decided I needed to help. “So, after all this shit is over, you and Clint going to take a vacation?” I ask as we walk down the hallway to the main part of the ship.

Phil doesn’t say anything for a moment. Then, “I don’t know.” Its said quietly, and I feel kinda bad for him. If someone told me four years ago that I would find a sort of kinship with Phil Coulson, I would have had JARVIS blast them in the ass. Now I knew better than to look a gift horse in the mouth when it came by way of people who could tolerate me.

We enter the main part of the Helicarrier, I heard someone ask why Loki needed iridium. “Its a stabilizing agent,” I answer absentmindedly, turning back to Phil. “Just pick a weekend, and I’ll fly you guys to wherever,” I say in hushed tones. “Keep love alive and all that jazz.” Phil looked grateful at the offer, and I give him a genuine smile before turning back to the others. “It means the portal won't collapse on itself, like it did at SHIELD.” As I walk around the table, I notice the blonde with the cool armor. Thor. I smile at him. “Iron Man told me you had a nice swing. You’ll need to show me that sometime,” I tell him, patting his arm. “Anyway, back to the iridium. It means the portal can open as wide, and stay open as long, as Loki wants.” I come to stand at central command, an array of touch screens surrounding me. “Uh, raise the mid-mast, ship the top sails,” I order. Some of the SHIELD agents give me looks of contempt, others trying not to laugh. “That man is playing Galaga!” I exclaimed, pointing to the man in the corner trying to subtly hide his screen. “Thought we wouldn't notice. But we did.” I cover one of my eyes and turn around in a circle. “How the hell does Fury do this?” 

“He turns,” Hill says off the side.

I purse my lips, dropping my hand. “That sounds exhausting.” I play with random buttons, pretending to look busy while I try to find a good place for my bug. “The rest of the raw materials, Agent Barton can get his hands on pretty easily. Only major component he still needs is a power source. A high energy density, something to kick start the cube.” I plant the small device on the underside of the computer, clapping my hands together as I finish talking.

“When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?” Hill asks, hands on her hips.

“Last night.” Hill glares at me. I smirk. “The packet, Selvig's notes, the Extraction Theory papers. Am I the only one who did the reading?!”

“Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?” A voice pipes up.  When I turn around, there’s Captain America in all his star-spangled glory.

I do a double take. “Where the fuck did you come from?” I ask, my mouth working ahead of my brain. Cap seems surprised, but either by my words or my surprise, I’m not really sure.

The others ignore my surprise, to my not-surprise. “He's got to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier,” another voice pipes up. I’m happy to see its Bruce Banner.

“Unless, Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect,” I counter.

“Well, if he could do that he could achieve Heavy Ion Fusion at any reactor on the planet.”

“Finally!” I shout, excited. “Someone who speaks English.” I walk over to Bruce, ignoring Cap. We shake hands, and I can see respect in his eyes. We let go a moment later. “It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner. Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage creature.”

Bruce looks down, sheepish. “Thanks, I guess.”

“Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube. I was hoping you might join him,” Fury says as he walks in. I have the urge to go over and smack him for letting Clint be taken, but I _barely manage_ to stop myself.

“Let's start with that stick of his,” Cap starts, “It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a HYDRA weapon.” I zone out after that. No matter what, magic was science that isn’t understood yet. I’m snapped back to the meeting when Cap shouted something about understanding a reference.

I roll my eyes before turning to Bruce. “Shall we play, Doctor?”

Bruce smiles a genuine smile, holding out his arm. “We shall.” I laugh, taking his arm as he escorts me to the labs. We have a steady conversation about Selvig’s notes (since we were the only two to read them), throwing in our own opinions on top of his. When we get in the lab, we part to different sides of the room. Bruce goes over to study Loki’s staff while I go to make some tracking algorithms for the Tesseract. “The gamma readings are definitely consistent with Selvig's reports on the Tesseract. But it's gonna take weeks to process.”

I tap a few buttons on the monitor. “If we bypass their mainframe and direct a reroute to the Homer cluster, we can clock this around six hundred teraflops.”

“And all I packed was a toothbrush.”

I laugh. “You know, you should come by Stark Towers sometime. Top ten floors, all R&D. You'd love it, it's candy land,” I say as I walk over to him, studying the scepter.

Bruce pursed his lips, looking guilty. “Thanks, but the last time I was in New York I kind of broke...Harlem.”

I hide my smirk. _This is too easy_. “Well, I promise a stress free environment. No tension. No surprises...” I poke him in the side, shocking him. Bruce jumps slightly, and I hear someone shout. “Nothing?” I ask.

“Are you insane?”

I look over to see Cap looking righteously mad. “Depends. Sometimes I wanna blow up SHIELD because they make me wanna do something evil-ish, and sometimes I wanna blow my own brains out. It just depends on that time of the month.” I shrug. “Its really nothing to worry your pretty little head over. Besides, Hulk wouldn’t have hurt me.”

“You don’t know that,” Bruce says.

I smile enigmatically. “Believe me, I do. I’ve made friends who are scarier than you make the Hulk out to be. There’s nothing to worry about. Even if there was, it wouldn’t be a problem for long.”

“Yeah, because putting everyone in danger is nothing to worry about.”

I reel back, surprised at the hostility in Cap’s voice. I snort sarcastically. “And I thought you of all people would be more compassionate towards others who are judged for being different. Or did you lose some brain cells being on your high horse too long?” Cap’s nostrils flare, opening his mouth to protest, but I cut him off. “Look, whatever your issues are, do _not_ take them out on me or Bruce. Right now, I have more important things to do than have an argument with a ninety-year-old baby. Like finding out what Fury’s hiding from us. I mean, why did Fury call us and why now? Why not before? What isn't he telling us? I can't do the equation unless I have all the variables.”

That seems to deflate Cap. “You think Fury's hiding something?”

“Cap. He’s _the_ spy. Even his secrets have secrets. Blueberry?” I ask, holding out the packet to him. Cap shakes his head, so I shrug and grab some for myself. “‘s bugging him too,” I say, pointing to Bruce.

The doctor stutters, trying to get out of it. He mumbles something about finishing his work before Cap interrupted him. It was quiet for a moment before Bruce took off his glasses, fiddling with them. “ _A warm light for all mankind_. Loki's jab at Fury about the cube.” Cap shakes his head, waiting for him to continue. “Well, I think it was meant for Toni.” I hold out the blueberry bag to him, and he takes a few. “So, why didn't SHIELD bring her in on the Tesseract project? I mean, what are they doing in the energy business in the first place?”

“I should probably look into that once my decryption programmer finishes breaking into all of SHIELD's secure files,” I say absentmindedly, pulling out my phone.

“I’m sorry, did you say―”

“Yeah, Cap. I meant what I said. Jarvis has been running it since I hit the bridge. In a few hours we'll know every dirty secret SHIELD has ever tried to hide.”

“Yet you're confused about why they didn't want you around?”

I roll my eyes. “An intelligence organization that fears intelligence? Historically, not awesome. **”**

“I think Loki's trying to wind us up. This is a man who means to start a war, and if don't stay focused, he'll succeed. We have orders, we should follow them.”

I look at Cap. “Excuse me, but I refuse to follow people who I can’t trust to watch my back.”

“Steve, tell me none of this smells a little funky to you?” Bruce says, not-so-subtly agreeing with me. Cap takes in a breath, looking like he was going to agree with me before shutting himself off, practically ordering us to find the Tesseract before leaving. I glare at his back, feeling myself getting more and more annoyed with the soldier. _I can’t believe Aunt Peggy fell for that guy_. “He’s not wrong about Loki,” Bruce said, “He does have the jump on us.”

“What he’s got is an ACME dynamite kit. And I can’t wait to watch it blow up in his face,” I say, walking back over to my monitor to check it.

“And I’ll read all about it,” Bruce said, sending me his readings with the flick of his wrist.

“Or, you could be suiting up with the rest of us,” I counter, expanding the readings so I could see them more easily. There was a pattern―

Bruce let out a mirthless laugh, more like a sarcastic breath than anything. “Yeah, I don’t get a suit of armor; I’m exposed, like a nerve. Its a nightmare.”

“You do realize I have a cluster of shrapnel trying to claw its way into my heart every second of every day, right? This little light in my chest stops it,” I say, tapping the outer casing of the reactor gently. “Its a part of me now. Its a horrible privilege.”

“But you learned to control it,” Bruce countered.

“Because I learned.”

“This is different,” Bruce said, effectively ending the conversation by turning back to his screen.

I walk over to him, brushing the data to the side so the only thing he could see was me. “Hey, I've read all about your accident. That much gamma exposure _should_ have killed you.”

“So you're saying that the Hulk― the other guy― saved my life? That's nice. It's a nice sentiment. Saved it for what?”

I give him a lopsided grin. “I guess we’ll find out,” I say before walking back over to my station.

“You might not like that.”

“And you just might.”

Silence.

“What the hell are you doing, Stark?”

I look away from Bruce for a moment, looking at Fury. “Kinda been wondering the same thing about you.”

“You're supposed to be locating the Tesseract.”

“We are,” Bruce says, pointing to my computer in the corner, “The model's locked and we're sweeping for the signature now. When we get a hit, we'll have the location within half a mile.”

“And you'll get your cube back, no muss, no fuss.” The computer beeped, pulling up some files that weren’t meant to be seen by us mere Muggles. “What is Phase 2?”

A loud clank startles Bruce, a huge-ass weapon on the table, Steve standing right next to it. Best part: he looked more pised than he was earlier. And it wasn’t directed at me. “Phase 2 is SHIELD uses the cube to make weapons.” To me: “Sorry, the computer was moving a little slow.”

I shrug it off, not the least bit offended. Fury tries to pull the wool over Steve’s eyes, but I clear my throat, turning my screen around to reveal a animation of the weapon Steve had brought in assembling. “I’m sorry, Nick. We’re you lying?”

Steve gave Fury a look before walking over to me, standing on my other side. “I was wrong, Director. The world hasn't changed a bit,” he said just as Thor and Romanov walked in.

Bruce stared at Romanov, starting to get angry. “Did you know about this?” he asked, his eyes starting to turn into a glowing green.

“You wanna think about removing yourself from this environment, Doctor?” Romanov asked, completely ignoring Bruce’s question.

“I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed.”

“Loki’s manipulating you.”

“And you’ve been doing what exactly?”

“You didn't come here because I bat my eyelashes at you.”

“Yes, and I'm not leaving because suddenly you get a little twitchy.” Bruce took off his glasses, grabbing the screen and pointing with said glasses. “I'd like to know why SHIELD is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction.”

Fury paused for a moment before pointing at Thor. The demigod looked confused, but suddenly everything made sense. “Last year earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that leveled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly, hilariously, outgunned,” Fury explained, like it would make his actions any better.

“My people want nothing but peace with your planet,” Thor said, his booming voice indignant.

“But you're not the only people out there, are you? And, you're not the only threat. The world's filling up with people who can't be matched, they can't be controlled.”

“Like you controlled the cube?” Steve said.

“You're work with the Tesseract is what drew Loki to it, and his allies. It is the signal to all the realms that the earth is ready for a higher form of war.”

“A higher form?” Steve asked, but he was ignored.

Fury: “You forced our hand. We had to come up with something.”

I decide to butt in. “So, a nuclear deterrent. 'Cause that always calms everything right down.”

“Remind me again how you made your fortune?”

 _It was all her Daddy’s work. Without him, she’d have nothing._ I flinch violently, ducking around to figure out who said that. Bruce gives me an odd look, but I mostly ignore it. _Are you afraid, Natasha? Tell me, who would miss you if you were gone? Would you even be remembered?_ I start scratching my arm, the urge to scratch the skin off greater than it had been in years. Someone catches my wrist, stopping me. I whine, looking up to see its Steve who stopped me. He looked concerned, but I don’t understand why. _Because he’s kind. He doesn’t care about_ you _; only the human you are. He would rather see you dead than living. What does it matter anyway? You’re already dead on the inside. One pull of that reactor, and your light would be snuffed out_ ― “ **ENOUGH!!!** ” I shout, wrenching my wrist from Steve’s grasp, ramming my back into the table, the staff wobbling. I look at it, then moving closer when I realize it's glowing. I move on wobbly legs around the table, grabbing the reader Bruce had put down earlier. I look down, seeing that the readings were off the charts. I put down the counter, staring at the staff. It seems to glow more now that I’m looking at it intensely. “Huh,” I mumble, “the Professor would really love this.” I look up at Thor. “What’s the stone made of?”

Thor stares at me for a second before his gaze shifts to the stone. His eyes widen in both surprise and horror. “Odin’s beard, that is the Mind Gem.”

I cock my head to the side. “I’m gonna assume that’s a bad thing.” _Everything is bad._ “Shut up,” I tell the stone, trying to calm down. “What does it do?”

Thor pursed his lips. “It was a gem created from the binding of the universe. When it exploded into existence, the remnants of the systems created were concentrated into five stones, each with an ability of their own. Their powers are singular, but together they can cause detrimental destruction. Together, they have the power to destroy the Nine Realms.”

It was silent before I started giggling maniacally. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, but I couldn’t stop laughing. When I can finally calm down, I look at Bruce. “I like how Loki wants to unleash the monster, and he assumes Hulk is a monster. He’s not the monster in this room. I am.”

Before I’m forced to elaborate, an explosion rocks the Helicarrier and all hell breaks loose.

After all the hell we went through to get back Clint, we ended up losing Phil (even though I didn’t trust Fury’s assessment, I would play along for now). After Fury’s less-than-encouraging pep talk, I walk out, wandering the Helicarrier until I find myself in the detention center staring at the large bloodsplatter that adorned the wall. I don’t move a single muscle when I sense someone else enter the room. Out of the corner of my eye to see Steve leaning against the doorway, arms crossed as he stared at me. We were quiet for a few minutes before Steve asked me if Phil was married. I shook my head. “But he had someone waiting for him,” I say, trying to keep the tightness out of my voice, but not succeeding in keeping it from my throat. “Clint was waiting for him.”

Steve inhaled sharply. His shoulders sagged slightly with the revelation. “I can only imagine how he’s gonna take it.”

“Oh, Clint’s gonna want to gut Loki like a fish, but he can’t. Not until we get the Mind Stone back.” A pause. “He shouldn’t have gone alone. Should’ve waited for backup.”

“He was doing his job. Sometimes there isn’t a way out, Toni.”

“I swear to Christ if Fury is lying to us to get us, I’m gonna knock him down a couple pegs. I refuse to march in his fife.”

“Neither am I. Not after― He's got the same blood on his hands as Loki does. Right now we've got to put that aside and get this done. Now Loki needs a power source, if we can put together a list―”

Suddenly a thought struck me. “He made this personal.”

“That’s not the point.”

“That’s _is_ the point. That’s _Loki’s_ point. He hit us right where we live. But why?”

“To tear us apart.”

“That’s good and all, but he could have easily done that with the Mind Stone. Warped our perceptions beyond recognition. His ego prevented him from doing that though. Why though? He wants to beat us and he wants to be seen doing it.” I move my hands around as I talk, trying to work through Loki’s crazy. “He wants an audience.”

“Like in Stuttgart.”

I wave my hand in dismissal at Steve. “That’s fine and dandy, but that was just a preview. _This_ , this is opening night. Loki's a full-tilt diva. He wants flowers, he wants parades, he wants a monument built in the skies with his name plastered―” I freeze, my body locked up in shock. Steve gives me a look, but I just move forward, grabbing his hand as I pull him out of the room, muttering curses under my breath at the trickster god as we run towards the medical wing. _I just hope we get there in time._  The thought only makes me run faster.

 


	2. Avengers Assemble P2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long to write!! Life has just gotten so stressful lately, and its past one here, but I wanted to get this out before I slept. Hope this was worth the wait.
> 
> Sorry if there are any errors. My dad broke my laptop so I'm using my parents antiquated system to post this.

People stare at me and Steve as we run through the hallways to get to the medical wing. I try to explain to him what Loki's plan is, but I'm not sure if I do it well enough in the rush that spews from my mouth. He seems to get the gist of it though, if his running faster is any indication. When we get to Clint's room, Romanov is the only one in the room, sitting on his bed. She looks to Steve in confusion. "Where's Barton?" Steve asks.

Before Romanov could even open her mouth, Clint came out of the bathroom, a towel in his hand. "Here, Captain." I walk over to Clint, throwing my arms around him. He returns the hug, hiding his face in my shoulder. We pull back a moment later, Clint straightening his shoulders to mimic a strength that he couldn't possibly have after finding out that the love of your life is (possibly) dead. "If you're here to know whether or not I'm myself again, I am."

I gave Clint a look. "No you're not. Not fully, anyway. But since I know I'd argue against that if I was in your place, so I'll let it go because I know you want to kick that bastard's ass all the way back to Asgard. But first I need you to fly Steve and Romanov to Manhattan. Loki's planning to use the Tower to open his portal bullshit." Clint nodded. "I need to go help Iron Man repair his suit. He'll be the first wave while you will be the calvary. I'm gonna go back to the labs to run some algorithms to track Bruce and Thor. Hopefully I'll be able to get them back into the game. Good luck." I give Clint a significant look before leaving, Steve and Romanov strategizing as the door closes behind me. I walk down the hall, making a sharp right, heading in the opposite direction of the lab. "JARVIS, how are the suit repairs coming along?"

"I'm sending the Mark V to you now, ma'am. It will take longer to repair the VI than originally thought"

I sigh in annoyance. "Ok, that means it won't be as efficient as the VI, but it'll have to do until I get to the Tower. ETA?"

 _"_ Five minutes, ma'am."

I don't bother responding, just walking toward the exit calmly. Fortunately there were no SHIELD agents around to spy on me, but one could never be too cautious. I calmly tapped my hip, my phone disabling the security cameras over here as I waited for my suit. By the fifth minute, I'm tapping my foot impatiently. If we're going to stop Loki, we need to get that staff away from him. If the staff affected him like it did me, it couldn't mean anything good for him. If there's a chance― My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of rocket boots landing on the platform. I walk outside without any hesitation, the thin air not really bothering me like it probably should have. My armor wraps around me like a comforting blanket, the monitor lighting up and showing me the statuses of the others. I also have JARVIS hack SHIELD again, trying to find any information about Phil that I could get my hand on. As I fly over New York, I feel my stomach clench in fear for the innocent people that were still in the city. "JARVIS, alert the National Guard. Tell them to double time it. Something tells me this is gonna be a full-blown world war if we can't keep it contained in the city." J does this immediately, and that's when I notice the machine on top of the Tower. "Turn off the arc reactor."

"Ma'am, I already have. The device is self-sufficient."

I look around, half-desperate for a solution. There has to be a way to stop Loki. I notice Selvig working on the machine. "Shut down the machine, Dr. Selvig," I command, my "masculine" voice sounding slightly tinny through the speakers.

Dr. Selvig jumped, turning around. He looks like he hasn't slept or taken care of his body in days, a thick five o'clock shadow covering most of his face. His eyes were bloodshot and a sickly shade of blue, glowing in the light of the Tesseract. "It's too late to stop her now! She wants to show us something; a new universe!"

"Okay then," I mumble, raising my hands and shooting at the machine. There was a blowback, causing me to fly backwards and Selvig to hit his body against the wall, knocking him unconscious. As I stabilize my flight, JARVIS lets me know  that Selvig is stable. I nod, trying to figure out how to break the barrier, realizing with horror that the barrier was pure energy and therefore couldn't be broken. I look inside and notice Loki staring at me. "J, prepare to deploy," I tell him, flying over to the landing pad, the demigod's eyes following me.

"The Mark VII is not ready for deployment yet," JARVIS informs me.

"Then skip the spinning rims, we're on the clock," I say, the Dumlettes coming out from hiding, taking apart the suit one piece at a time and revealing the (wo)man under the suit. Loki doesn't even look surprised, which doesn't surprise me either. I ignore him for the moment, heading over to the bar. If I have a damn good chance of dying to save those below, then I was gonna have one last drink, sobriety be damned for the moment.

“Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity,” Loki said, voice as smooth as whiskey. I could genuinely appreciate where he got the nickname “trickster” from.

“Actually, I was planning on threatening you.”

“You should have left your armor on for that,” the demigod told me, sounding like a parent chastising a child for doing something unthinkingly.

“Yeah, it's seen a bit of mileage. You've got the glow stick of destiny. Would you like a drink?” I offer, holding an empty glass out to him.

Loki gave me a look before turning back to the city, his grip on the scepter tightening. “The Chitauri are coming, nothing will change that. What have I to fear?”

“The Avengers.” Loki turned back to me, confused. “I know, right?” I roll my eyes before downing my drink in one go, the burn familiar and comforting. “It's what we call ourselves, sort of like a team. 'Earth’s mightiest heroes' type of thing.”

“Yes, I've met them.”

I laugh under my breath. “Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But, let's do a head count here: your brother, the demigod.” Loki looked away at the mention of his adopted brother, giving me enough time to slip on the locator bracelets. “A super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend. A man with breath-taking anger management issues. And a couple of master assassins. And you, big fella,” I continued, pointing at the trickster, “you've managed to piss off every single one of them.”

“That was the plan.”

I purse my lips before smirking at him. “Not a great plan. When they come, and they will, they'll come for you.”

“I have an army,” Loki said.

“We have a Hulk,” I reply, walking towards him.

“I thought the beast had wandered off.”

“Dude, you’re missing the point. There's no throne, there is _no_ version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us, but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it.”

Loki smirked at me, his eyes flashing the same blue hue that Selvig’s held. “How will your friends have time for me, when they're so busy fighting you?” He raised his scepter, tapping it on my reactor. Other than a small _ping_ sound, I still felt like myself. Loki looks down at my chest in confusion before trying again with the same results. “This usually works,” he comments, his eyes brightening into that sickly cerulean color once more.

“Well, performance issues, you know. One out of five―” Loki grabbed me by my throat, picking me up and throwing me towards the window. Fortunately I land a few feet away from the glass. I get up. _Anytime now, JARVIS_ , I think. Less than a second later my gauntlets fly out, smacking Loki in the back before wrapping around my forearms. The rest of the suit flies out in parts, each hitting Loki with a satisfying _thunk_ to different parts of his body. Once I was fully encased in the suit, I told him, “And there's one other person you pissed off! His name’s Phil,” before blasting him, sending him to the ground, the scepter lying a few feet away. I was so tempted to go and grab it, but a power surge caused me to straighten out. I fly to the top of the Tower just in time to witness the portal open. A bunch of ugly-ass creatures on what look like flying chariots surge out of the opening in space. “Right. Army,” I mumble, JARVIS switching the hub into battle mode. I fly up to meet the aliens. If I’m the first line, I’m gonna have my fun before the others show up.

“Iron Man! You know that’s a one-way trip, right?”

My breath hitches at those words. I would never be able to see Pepper again, Rhodey, Happy, Clint, Bruce― I snap myself out of it. I know this needs to be done, but it doesn’t make the prospect any less terrifying. “J, save the rest for the return trip?”

“Ma’am,” JARVIS said, sounding resigned, “shall I try Ms. Potts?”

I look to see a picture of Pepper pop up, and I already miss my best friend. “Its ok. She’s probably busy now anyway,” I try to say casually, and fortunately JARVIS doesn’t call me out on it. As I fly through the portal, I mumble, “Thank you for everything, JARVIS. I’ll miss you, buddy.”

“As I shall of you, ma’am,” JARVIS managed to say before the suit cut off. The missile continues to fly through space as I hover, the armada sitting menacingly in a cluster. When the missile hits, a supernova is created. I smirk, letting my eyes fall closed and the darkness take me. The next thing I know the Hulk is roaring, making my body jolt. “Ow,” I mumble. It takes me a moment to realize my helmet’s off. _Fuck_ , I think, not looking at the others. “Please tell me nobody kissed me. Did we win?” I said to no one in particular.

Steve shifts out of the corner of my eye, his entire body covered in dirt and his cowl missing. “We won,” he said, sounding exhausted.

I let out a huge breath of relief. “Yay, good job guys. Can we take a day to ourselves tomorrow or something?” I finally look at Steve. “You ever had shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it.”

The supersoldier graces me with a small smile, but Thor says, “We are not finished yet.”

A moment passes before I ask, “Fine. But can we get shawarma afterwards? I’m _starving_.” I sit up, reaching to my left side for the latch. When I hit it, all the pieces of my suit become loose, and I take them off with relative ease. I look down at the Mark VII, sighing. “This is gonna take me forever to repair,” I mumble under my breath.

“Toni.” I look up to find Steve staring at me, confusion and hurt written plainly on his features. “Why didn’t you tell us? Don’t you trust us?”

Without thinking, I put a hand on Steve’s soldier. “I’ve gotten so used to keeping it a secret that it just became a second nature to me. Besides, I never really had anyone to tell it to. If you’ve seen any of the news about me since you were unfrozen, you would know that I don’t keep that many people close with me. The people I care about already knew. Fury, Hill, Clint and Phil know. Not sure about Romanov, but―” I pause, shrugging. “I trust you guys. I just never had the time to say anything. Loki―” My eyes bug out and my hand drops from Steve’s shoulder as I finally realize what the light means. “Fuck!” I shout, scrambling to my feet and sprinting in the direction of the Tower as fast as I possibly could in my current condition. I hear the others shout for me (Hulk roars), but I ignore them. If I’m right, I need to hurry. As I get closer to the Tower, I start to hear the Mind Stone taunting me again. _If you think you can win, you’re wrong_. “If you think you can beat me, that’s cute.” _I’m older than the galaxy itself! You cannot stop me from_ ― “From what? Destroying everything I’ve been spending the past five years trying to atone for? You may be all powerful, but you aren’t all stubborn.” _You and your team are pathetic. You couldn’t save all those innocents you swore to protect._ “Yeah, but we’re gonna avenge them by taking you down.” By this time, I’d reached the Tower entrance, running through the lobby to the elevator. I felt the ground quake. Figuring it was just the Hulk, I didn’t worry about it. The elevator _ding_ ed, but when I entered, the doors wouldn’t close. “JARVIS, what the―”

“Didn’t think you were going alone, did you?” Clint and Steve were in front of me a second later, minus the others. They squeezed into the elevator with me, JARVIS finally closing the door. “What’s going on, Tones?” the archer asked me, his expression worried.

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath in and out before opening them again. “I have to test something out before Fury gets here and tells me to go fuck off,” I said. “You know how Loki was controlling you?” Clint nodded. “ _Wrong_. All of this: the invasion, the brainwashing, wasn’t Loki’s fault. It was that fucking scepter. The stone inside is bringing out the worst in people. It made you into an emotionless assassin. It turned Loki into a power-hungry lunatic. Right now it's trying to make me become the selfish bitch I once was.”

“Toni, you were never selfish,” Clint defends, “yeah I mean when I first met you I thought you were the scum of the earth, but then I saw what you did for Rhodey and Pepper when you were dying.”

I shrug off the compliments. “It's trying to make me become the monster I used to be not that long ago, and I’m not gonna let all my hard work be for nothing.” The elevator finally let us off at the communal floor, the floor a mess of glass and smashed-up floor. “Fuck, Pepper’s gonna kill me. Clint, I expect a nice eulogy at my funeral,” I comment, spying the scepter lying on the floor next to where Romanov was sitting. I rush over to it, grabbing it before going over to an unconscious Loki. I put the scepter to his chest, forcing all my willpower into my actions. “ ** _Release_** ,” I say, my voice bouncing off the walls with the force of that one word. Loki gasped, his eyes opening, the azure color brightening once more before fading into a more natural grey color. He blinked, taking in his surrounding before he notices me holding the staff. He backs away, frightened, but I hold up my hand in surrender, the other used to set the scepter down on the ground before kicking it towards Romanov. “It's okay. You’re on Midgard. The Mind Stone used you to try and get what it wants. Guess the stupid son of a bitch didn’t expect me.” Loki still looks frightened. “Thor,” I call, “you better get up here.”

Thor flies through the Hulk-sized hole where the window once was. “What is it, Lady Natasha?”

I turn to the demigod. "Help your brother. The hold over him is gone." Thor looked ready to cry in joy, dropping Mjolner and rushing over to Loki. He hugged his adopted brother, speaking to him in Norse. Loki is stiff in his arms, only relaxing when he looks at me, seeing my smile. He allows himself to embrace Thor. "JARVIS," I call to my AI, "tell Fury we have everything under control with Loki here. Help the civilians. The Avengers will be there in a little while. We have one more thing to take care of."

A pause. "Message sent. Do you want me to hold off all calls from SHIELD?"

"Yes please," I say, walking over to Romanov. I hold my hand out for the scepter, but she hesitates in giving it to me. "I trust SHIELD about as far as I can throw it. It would be better to keep it here, away from as many people as possible."

"And I don't trust you with it. What happens if it takes over your mind?" Romanov asks, a hard edge in her voice.

I snort. "Please, if it were to control me, it would've done so by now. I'm still my annoying-ass self. Despite what it thinks, I have more will than most people have. Just took me a while to remember that. Now, hand me the scepter."

Romanov still looked hesitant, looking to Clint. He nodded, and she reluctantly handed it over. I grip it securely, ignoring the bombardment of negative emotions once more. _How does it feel to know you failed?_ "I don't know, how does it feel to know _you_ failed, asshole?"

"It speaks to you as well?" It took me a second, but then I realized it was Loki that spoke.

I nod. "Yeah, its really annoying, but it's not _that_ big of a problem. It's not like it's not speaking the truth about me." I tilt my head. "What does it tell you?"

Loki looks at the ground, uncomfortable. "It's not only what it says, but _who_ says it." Thor places a hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "How do you shut it out? How do you fight it?"

"By accepting there are always going to be parts of me that are always going to be dark. But that's the thing with life. You overcome the darkness by knowing that _you_ are both good and bad. I have the Maria Stark Foundation, that's a good thing. I'm responsible for the death of millions, that's bad. It took me a while to accept that. I'm _still_ accepting that. But it's the struggle that makes it all worth it. You need to start accepting the positive and the negative. And it also helps to talk to others. I talk to my robots because I don't feel horrible for dumping all my shit on them. They'd listen no matter what because I made them. You could talk to illusions if you wanted. But you have more problems to deal with, so have someone to lean on. Like Thor," gesturing to the thunder god, "he's your brother and he loves you. He's sacrificed so much to make sure you're happy. And I can tell you love him as well. So draw strength from him if you need to. I do from my friends when there are days when I can't stand on my own. I may not have a lot of friends, but the ones I do have I trust with my life. They, for some weird reason, like me despite the fact that I may be broken beyond repair. Thor loves you, and is willing to help you overcome your struggles when you feel like you can't. To some, love is a weakness, when it's the greatest thing you can draw strength from." There's a lengthy pause after my speech, most everyone staring at me. I smirk, feeling very smug for making everyone speechless. "Now, if you want to talk in private, JARVIS can show you to an empty floor and we'll avoid it like the plague until you're ready to come out. I hafta go put this somewhere where no one can be harmed by it again." With that said, I turn on my heel and walk over to the elevator. I figured Romanov and Steve would follow me, since they really don't trust me. Clint I assumed would too so he could vouch for me. When the four of us enter the elevator, it's tense with unspoken questions that I don't feel like answering. J takes us to an unmarked floor that sixty-five feet below my lab, the doors opening to reveal plans for weapons of mass-destruction strewn all over the place. "This is where I come when all the nightmares become weapons. These will never see the light of day. Only I can enter, JOCASTA preventing anyone from coming in here with extreme force and blurring everyone's vision of the plans."

"Damn straight," JO said, "me and JARVIS will keep all the morons that aren't supposed to be in here out."

Steve looked surprised. "Is that―"

"Yeah. Her voice patterns similar to Ingrid Bergman," I tell him. "She's Aunt Peggy's favorite actress."

Steve's face blanched. "Peggy? She's still―?"

I give him a sad smile. "When you're ready, we can talk, ok?" The super soldier nodded, trying to keep the tears in line. I walk calmly through the bunker. "JO can you send an encrypted message to Rhodey? I'm sure he'll want to know the staff is in safe hand. Well, as safe as these hands can get."

"Roger that." I laugh under my breath at her choice of words. "What level artifact is this?"

"Five," I say, the scepter still a white noise in the back of my mind. "We'll need an aurichalcum case for this particular piece."

"Jeez. It must have a ton of telepathic energy in order to need aurichalcum."

"Yeah, this one's pretty bad. We may need to test it further, but for now I'm not going to risk it."

"Should I send a message to the Professor?"

I hesitate for a moment before nodding. "We can't do anything about it for now, but letting him know would be a good idea."

JOCASTA doesn't respond, only opening a spare canister. _I will return_ ― "Yeah, yeah," I say, chucking the scepter into the repository. "Shut the hell up," I tell the Stone as the door shuts, cutting off the psionic burst that it was about to propel at me. I smirk. "JO, how are the levels?"

"Stable, Tones."

"Cool. Keep me monitored." With that, I walk back to the elevator. "Fun fact: it took me a year to make JARVIS, but a week and a half to get JOCASTA online."

Clint rolled his eyes. "That isn't really that surprising. I've seen you build entire suits in a matter of days.

I hum. "I think my current record is two days, five hours. I was honestly surprised that it took me that long."

"That's only because Pepper threatened to kick your ass if you didn't at least take a nap," Clint pointed out.

"She wanted to call you to use a sonic arrow on me, but fortunately you were busy at the time."

"Yeah, me and―"

Clint cut himself off, his hands clenching into fists. "You know he could have made it, right? I mean, Fury lied to us about Phase 2. Who says he didn't lie about Phil?" I lay a hand on his shoulder, giving a firm squeeze. "All I'm saying is, don't give up hope yet. When I was in Afghanistan, Pepper and Rhodey never gave up, even when the odds of me surviving were zero to none."

"They didn't have footage of you being stabbed by a psychotic stick," Clint pointed out, his teeth now clenched as well.

"True. But if there's even a hint that he's still alive, me and JARVIS will find out. I'm just sayin', if I'm not giving up hope, you shouldn't either." Clint nodded, but I'm not sure if he believed me or not. The ride back is tense. When we come back, Thor and Loki are gone and Bruce is sitting at the kitchen counter, a bottle of water clenched tightly in his hand. "Heya, Bruce. How's everything?" I ask cheerfully, walking over to the fridge.

Bruce gives me a barely-there smile. "Tired. Shifting is always exhausting," he tells me, taking another huge gulp of water, most of the bottle already gone.

"Not surprising. If you want, we can always run tests to see if there's a way to help make the transition easier," I tell him, opening the fridge and grabbing two bottles of water and a can of Coke. I hand Bruce the other bottle, taking the seat next to him. "If it makes you feel any better, you just proved everyone wrong." Bruce gives me a blank look. "The Hulk did more good than damage. Without him, this battle could've gone south for us really quickly."

"Without your willingness to lay on the wire, we may not have been able to hold them off much longer."

I shrug. "Someone had to. Any one of us would've done it." Bruce nodded, silently slipping his water. "JARVIS, can you find out how the relief efforts are going, and if there's any complications, email HR to send help."

"Of course, ma'am."

It's quiet for a few minutes, me and Bruce sipping our drinks silently while Romanov and Clint look at each other, silently communicating. Steve's standing there looking like a lost puppy. I smirk to myself. "J, bring the shield up around the Tower. I need a pick me up," I tell my AI, standing up.

"Ma'am, I do not believe that is a good idea," JARVIS told me.

I shrug, heading to the landing platform. "I think you said the same thing about me becoming an armored superhero, and that's turned out marvelously for me. Especially since I get to be a professional pain in Fury's ass." I snort before stopping, doubling over in laughter. When I surface for air, I wipe the tears from my eyes and look at Clint. " _Furylicious_ ," I tell him, giggling like mad now. Clint snorts before he began laughing hysterically, using Romanov as a support so he wouldn't fall over. “Aw man,” I say, “you did that on purpose, you bastard,” I tell JARVIS.

“I do not know what you are referring to.”

“Sure you don’t. I’m still doing it anyway. Clint?”

The archer nodded, and followed me over to the landing platform. “I’m honestly surprised this cheers you up so much,” Clint said, both of us sitting down near the edge of the platform.

I shrug, scooting closer. “It reminds me of freefalling.” I lay down, Clint’s body a comforting and familiar warmth pressed next to me. We scooted even closer until our heads are hanging over the edge, the city upside down now in our perspectives. “See, J? I’m completely safe,” I tell my AI.

“Whatever you say, ma’am,” JARVIS replied, sounding like an all-suffering Rhodey.

I roll my eyes. “Remind me to program the sass out of you.”

“It will have to wait until after your meeting with Ms. Potts.”

“Ugh,” I grumble, rolling my eyes. Clint laughs next to me, making me smile in return. Anything to get Clint laughing at the moment. “What are you laughing at, Grumpy Cat?”

Clint chuckles. “Because you’ve said that God knows how many times, and that’s only in the four years I’ve known you.”

“Because I’m hoping one day I actually mean it,” I grumble, elbowing him softly in the side.

“Whatever are you doing?” A green puff of smoke alerts us to Loki and Thor’s presence.

“Just laying here. The view’s pretty awesome,” I tell him.

“This is something children do,” Loki said, sounding slightly put off at the casualness of my last statement.

“And we’re all children here. I don’t know about you, but Iron Man is gonna have to do some serious clean-up really soon. Toni Stark is going to enjoy the peace and quiet for the moment.” Suddenly a siren burst through the air, flashing lights seen from below. I sigh. “Speak of the devil,” I mumble, getting up. “J, use whatever armor is readily available to go clear away debris and help civilians.”

“Right away, ma’am.”

“Where are you going?” Romanov asks, sounding accusatory.

I give her a glare strong enough to melt ice. “ _I_ have to get ready for the barrage of paparazzi about to come down on all of our asses. This could turn into a giant PR nightmare if it gets out of hand. And if you’re going to continue to operate as a team, then you need to have a benefactor, and Toni Stark is readily available.” With that said, I turn on my heel to walk away, but I get stopped by Clint.

Of course.

“Woah, woah, _woah_ ,” Clint said, “you said 'you’re'. You didn’t say 'we’re.'”

I shrug. “Iron Man made the cut. Not me. JARVIS is better anyway.” With that said, I walk over the elevator, ignoring Clint’s protests behind me. Besides the PR bullshit, I had a Coulson to find.

"Stark!"

I sigh. It had been a few days since the Battle of New York, and I had managed to avoid SHIELD long enough. Figures Fury would figure out what I was up to. "What?" I snapped, tired and fed up with all the politics and bullshit.

"What's this about you taking Project LOLA?"

"He's a person not a project. Besides, LOLA, really? Was that the best name you morons could come up with?" I ask, not bothering to look away from the monitor as Fury dramatically made his entrance. I swear the asshole was a bigger drama queen than I am.

"That still doesn't give you the right―"

I cut him off immediately. "Actually, I _do_ have the right, since Howard and Aunt Peggy were two of the original founders of SHIELD. And I say you had no right to keep Phil from us. Clint's gonna be back in a little while, so I suggest you get the fuck out of my tower before I have JARVIS escort you out with extreme prejudice."

I can tell he wants to fight me more on the matter, but I silence him with a glare powerful enough to even make the Hulk hesitate. Fury leaves as dramatically as he came, and I reach over to grab my bottle of pills in case of migraines. I pop two, tracing my thumb over the name _Dr. McCoy_ typed on there. I walk over to the bathroom, knocking gently on the locked door. "Phil? You good in there?"

The door clicks and swings inwards, revealing a tired Phil Coulson. Though the wound on his shoulder was doing better, it was still tender. His forehead was shiny with sweat, but he managed a smile that looked more like a grimace. "Never better," he told me. I rolled my eyes at the obvious lie but let it slide for the moment. "Ma'am, Mr. Barton and the others have arrived. They are conversing with Director Fury as we speak," JARVIS informed us.

I swear as I gently lead Phil to the elevators. "You up for seeing your boyfriend?" I ask, noticing him fiddle with a small velvet box before pocketing it. "He'll forgive you, you know. Just tell him the truth."

"I find it ironic that you're giving me relationship when you refuse to even give a relationship a chance," Phil told me as we entered the elevator, heading to the communal floor. "And I'm more worried about him not being able to trust me after faking my death."

"And if Clint's as smart as I know he is, he'll probably hug you to death instead. And I see what relationships do to others when they don't work out. I don't need any more damage," I said.

When we exited the elevator, everyone stops talking. Fury is glaring at me with his one good eye while Steve, Romanov and Bruce looked shocked as they looked at Phil. Clint... Clint has tears filling his eyes as he stared at the man he loved. He took a hesitant step forward, looking to me for guidance. I take a few side-steps away from Phil as Clint runs over to his boyfriend, holding him tightly like he's afraid to lose him again. Phil hugs back just as fiercely, not caring of the eyes that are watching the couple. DUM-E comes from the elevator holding a blowtorch and heading for Fury, U and Butterfingers following him with a butcher's knife and my heaviest hardcover book, which just happened to be my [DSM-IV](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diagnostic_and_Statistical_Manual_of_Mental_Disorders) manual. Fury barely managed to get out of the room, U grazing his ear with the blade as it impaled itself on the wall next to the door. The two lovebirds finally looked up the sound, looking at the wall before staring at me. I shrug. "What? It can stay there until after Halloween."

Clint rolled his eyes, giving me a thankful smile. "How...?"

"JARVIS was still inside SHIELD, so it didn't take long. I mean, whoever decided to call Phil Project LOLA obviously didn't realize I knew about his car. Now, why don't you take care of your super-spy boyfriend? Your floor is already finished. JARVIS will let you know when dinner is, make sure to check his shoulder in case he pulls a muscle, sit on him if he's being too stubborn, yada yada yada." I walk over to the kitchen, opening the pantries to pull out some spices. "How do chicken tacos sound? Bruce, get over here and help me."

Bruce walks over, eyebrow raised. "I thought you couldn't cook," he accused, grabbing the chicken and tortillas from the fridge.

"I had to. Jarvis and Mom refused to let me not know how to cook. I remember one time Jarvis tried to teach me how to bake a cake. Somehow I managed to make it explode." I smile fondly at the memory, the ache in my heart small but still noticeable. Bruce's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "Oh, Jarvis was the family butler," I explain to him, Romanov and Steve sitting at the counter. Phil and Clint were nowhere in sight. "He and Mom practically raised me. He was my only friend for a long time. He inspired JARVIS and the Iron Man colors." I look at my fellow scientist, elbowing him lightly. "Why don't you tell us about your time around the world? There must've been some interesting food that you learned to cook."

The scientist's eyes light up as he talks about his work in India, Madagascar and Mozambique, to name a few. He still mailed letters to all the families that he had stayed with, sending money to them whenever he could. I covertly asked JARVIS to check into these families, hoping to help them out as well. And if I noticed that Steve noticed my use of Morse code, well... what can you do?

A month later Phil was proposing to Clint, the archer's enthusiastic ' _yes!_ ' making the Avengers (excluding Thor) clap in congratulations. I noticed Bruce and Romanov sitting closer together at the celebratory dinner, and I hid my smirk into my beer bottle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note 1: I just googled actresses from the 40s and got Ingrid Bergman. Meh.
> 
> Note 2: There's a mention of aurichalcum. It is a fictional metal, and can be found listed [here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fictional_elements,_materials,_isotopes_and_atomic_particles).
> 
> Note 3: I will try to update this more, but if may be difficult since I'm still recovering from a double whammy of the flu and a sinus infection. What joy -_-


End file.
